Recent calculations using today's space travel technology indicate a one-way trip to Mars takes approximately 260 days. This is, of course, based on two drivers and no pit stops.
That's about 4,500 waking hours--or approximately 3,000 old movies. To reduce the cost of late return fees, we've restricted our library to films made before 1975.
We have engaged film archivist and media librarian Cydonia Labyrinthus to select and schedule our in-flight entertainment. Although a Martian by birth, she embraces Earth culture with a nearly single-minded devotion. Cydonia has a double-doctorate in American popular culture from Bowling Green and her best-selling books include "Secret Sexuality of the Horse Opera", "Blame Charlie Chan: Movies and the U.S. Divorce Rate" and her most famous work, still a mega-seller on Mars, Venus, and Armstrongia, "They're a Scream: Space Farce from Earth."
Please keep hands, feet, and antennae inside the vehicle at all times and check that your seat belt is properly buckled during take-offs and landings.
